Condoms
by Kristina Zhao
Summary: Were you really that mesmerized by him that you ended up looking like an idiot? Are you sure that he said condoms?


Disclaimer: Higuchi Tachibana's the author and owner of Gakuen Alice and its characters. I'm merely just an inspired writer.

[Author's Note (A/N): Hi, guys~! BlackbelliedWillow here! Howbeit t'is not my first published story, t'is the first for this account (as my other account—a dummy account given away to me—has long been void). Hope you'll enjoy this story~

I got my inspiration from a friend of mine who had the most embarrassing encounter during her IS (internship). It was utterly hilarious. She almost cussed at the man (quite an old foreign dude), blaming him and his accent. Thankfully, in the end, he got what he needed.

P.S. T'is not a M-rated story. In a few minutes, you'll finally understand why I entitled this 'Condoms'.]

—oOo—

".., Mikan." The brunette-haired girl finally stopped on her tracks, escaped from her solemn trance, and turned 'round to face the person who just called her out.

She sprightly beamed upon facing the person, running into her bestfriend's arms. "Hotaru! I missed you~"

BAKA! BAKA!

"Get your filthy claws away from my uniform," Hotaru nonchalantly spoke, blowing out the hot steam from her infamous Baka-Gun, "… and we've seen each other hours ago at the cafeteria, idiot. We always do."

Mikan shed out crocodile tears while nursing her newly-acquired head bump, pouting unhappily at her bestfriend's bluntness. "Hmph. How cold! I wonder why I ever loved you?" Mikan pondered, fussing angrily at the thought.

"Hm, I'm also wondering why I'm bestfriends with an idiot like you."

"!!!" Mikan gaped, dumbfoundingly.

"Anyways, I need you to buy me stuffs from the pharmacy you're working at. I need a few boxes of syringes and IV kits. Too lazy to get it myself." Mikan grinned teasingly, her brows moving up and down in a playful manner. "It's for Ruka, isn't it?" Nogi Ruka is Imai Hotaru's long-timed boyfriend who is currently doing his practicum as a veterinarian.

"Hm." Hotaru raised the Baka-Gun and pretended to wipe its nozzle, an action of forewarning for Mikan who just sweatdropped. Despite knowing Hotaru as an apathetic person, it's not really a huge surprise that she will bend at Ruka's command since she's the girlfriend. However, it is a surprise that the usually effete Ruka had the guts to do so. Poor Ruka, he have had it harder than she, the bestfriend, of this ruthless lavender-eyed creature.

"A-alright, alright, chill. I'll do it. So, how many?" she sighed helplessly.

"A dozen each. Oh, make sure the syringes are in a dozen of each types. You could also add a few extras if you'd like."

Mikan held out her palms wide open, clearly implying something.

"Your debt." Two words made Mikan retract her arms back in place, whimpering like a drenched stray dog.

Another set of crocodile tears was shed, Mikan can't help but complain and say, "But Hotaru! A dozen each can cost me a big dent on my month's allowance!"

"Baka. Your allowance is even larger than mine. Blame it on your monstrous appetite, not on me," the raven-haired beauty retorted, "besides, it's time for you to pay your debts."

Before Mikan can counterattack Hotaru's sarcastic description 'bout her appetite, Hotaru had already fled the scene through the help of her fast-paced scooter.

"…"—Mikan

Mikan sighed, depressingly. 'I have a larger allowance yet I'm very much indebted to her. How sad.' Rather than acting defiant, she decided to just comply to avoid being Hotaru's slave-dummy.

She shook her head and continued on her path.

—oOo—

"…check. A dozen of 60 mL syringes, check… oh! This one's also needed…—"

"Mikan, can you assist the man at the counter for me? I badly needed to tend Mother Nature's call of duty," Mikan's male colleague pleaded.

"A-Ok! No problem for me."

"I'll be right back. Thanks lots!"

Mikan waggled her way to the front of the counter where she came to meet a gorgeous man, face-to-face.

"Oh." In a snap, Mikan was rendered speechless with her mouth shamelessly wide-opened, staring deeply into the customer's crimson orbs. "How may… I help you… sir?"

"…want…con… and…it. Hey? Hey, Miss!" The handsome lad was at first, amused at this li'l girl's reaction. But then, the idiot was still idly spacing out despite him giving out orders. It's gonna eat up his time and effort if he needed to restate his orders, his patience's been already threading thin.

"… S-Sorry. H-how many would you like, sir?" she stuttered an explanation, typing something on the keyboard before facing him again. This time, she intended to gaze away from his tantalizing eyes which seemed to seep into her soul, controlling her senses away from sanity.

"Hn. Give me a hundred of it." Mikan can't help but jawdropped, barely managing to nod her head once.

"Okay then, get me those."

Mikan, though still disoriented after being taken aback, can't help but mutter a silent remark, something along the line of "what-a-pervert".

However, that did not managed to escape the sensitively sharp, cat-like hearing ears of the crimson-eyed lad; his eyes forming into slits, drilling holes at the back of her head which made Mikan suddenly felt conscious and fidgety.

"Uhm, sir? Which brand do you opt to purchase?" she inquired, turning her head into his way.

"What brand? There are no other brands for that."

Mikan grabbed four different branded condom packages from a certain aisle before walking back into the counter.

"Well, do have four brands, sir. This is *c-brand, *d-brand, *b-brand, and *a-brand*."

"…"—Natsume

"Amongst these four, I suggest that you should purchase *d*. According to most of our trusted customers, it is, uhm," Mikan can't help but blush at the sensitive topic. After all, despite living for already 20 years on Earth, Mikan's as pure as those white pearls underneath the deep, blue sea. Heck! She never even had a boyfriend. How much more of a kiss? "I-It's thin so the user can f-feel the, uhm, s-sensation yet it is also durable to use so there's a 0.01% chance of tearing up during i-i-intercourse… uhm, a trusted contraceptive indeed."

The lad smirked widely at the female pharmacist's reaction, feigning ignorance. His gaze wandered into where her nameplate is innocently situated above the moppet's right bosom.

'Sakura Mikan. Pharmaceutical Apprentice.'

"Well, Mikan," —Mikan was caught surprised at his sudden knowledge of her name— "Oh, don't give me that face. Name. Plate. I'm not a stalker for goodness' sake," him, emphasizing on the two words 'name plate'.

Mikan blushed feverishly. "O-oh, uhm, so, what were you saying? Hehe."

"Hm~" Mirth can be unmistakably seen from his deep-set eyes.

"Pray, tell me, which flavors do you prefer?" he asked, playfully.

"Eh? Pardon?" Mikan's head snapped at his direction, staring directly into his eyes. Her innocence was evident on her face and it made Natsume's blood rushed, his hands itching to pinch her translucent pink cheeks.

"Fla-vor~" His deep baritone voice sounded sexier as he uttered the word, syllablically.

"… I don't know, sir… I don't have any preferrence. I'll… I'll have my colleague—"

"No need," he cut her off.

"But—"

"It's okay. Just get me those *d-brand*s, Mi-kan-chan~" Mikan felt a shiver crept up on her spine. A nice… good… pleasurable kind of sensation.

Silence ensued between them for a minute or two before the chimes at the front door reverberated althroughout the store.

"So, I'll pack 100 plain *d-brand* condoms then?" Mikan asked him for confirmation. Before Natsume could open his mouth to reply, a familiar male in white labcoat walked his way into their direction.

"Excuse me, Natsume-san. Sorry for the delay. How may I help you? The usual?" Her colleague suddenly appeared out from nowhere by her side.

"Thanks for tempo-taking my part, Mikan. Return to what you were doing, I can handle this one now."

"Oh, okay," she gratefully said, unconsciously giving a lingering glance at the customer, who has been surprisingly deep-staring back at her, before returning to her post.

"Huh… Why are these condoms here?"

—oOo—

The locker was loudly banged close. 'How frustrating. Just who was that guy? I didn't even get the chance to inquire his name yet he managed to know mine.'

Mikan can't help but sigh, dejectedly.

How could she not? The man has been occupying her mind all day long. His long eyelashes from upclose. His supple, red lips. His jaws—

"Mikan!" She turned her head towards the voice.

"Yes?!" Mikan unconsciously slammed her locker.

"… did I interrupt you?"

"No! Don't worry. So, why'd you call me for?"

"About that, I forgot to fully express my gratitude to your help. Thank you very much! You were my savior. That damn call of Mother Nature was unexpected. I'm so glad you were there."

"No worries, Dave. We're colleagues after all." She gently smiled at him.

He took a grasp of her hands as he continued, "By the way, remember that hot guy from last morning? The hunk? Omigosh! I've been crushin' on him for almost a month now! He's the hottest. I'm so glad that he decided to study here in Japan."

"That guy? The red eyes?" Mikan inquired, quite unsure. Dave, after all, a homesexual, has been crushin' on all his male customers despite acting manly and all.

"YES! He came from States. And you know, I feel so lucky to be his frequent pharmacist-in-charge. I'm glad he thinks I'm manly enough to serve him."

"But Dave, he's a pervert. Ew. Y-yes, he is hot but a downright pervert," she strongly protested albeit a bit hesitant, slightly mumbling the last words.

"What? How could you say so? Do you know Natsume?"

"No, I don't know him, and Natsume? That's his name? Sounds gay-ish to me."

"Eh? What happened to both of you? Did something happened?"

"Nothin' happened! He just freakin' bought a hundred piece of condoms for God's sake! If you don't call that perverted, I'd say he's one worst case of a horn dog."

"Condoms?"

"Yes!"

"Are you pretty sure he said condoms?"

"Yes! He even asked for my opinion on which flavor I could suggest to him."

"Pftt!" All of a sudden, Dave started laughing hard.

"What the—!"

"N-no wonder that both of you had a tensed—and lusty, if I may add—atmosphere when I arrived! Hahaha! He even played along with you!" Dave continued to chortle.

"…" Mikan was confused. Which part was funny enough to make Dave laugh? It doesn't even make any sense to her. 'Lusty?'

"… hahaha! I-I'm sorry. Hahaha! If only I were there to witness the scene!"

"… Dave… What's so funny?" With her question, Dave's fits of laughter came to a halt.

"*coughs* I won't tell you. I'll let you realize the mistake by yourself. *coughs* As your senior, I need to guide my juniors on how to reflect on their mistakes to avoid it from reoccurring in the future—"

"—but—"

"—by the way, Katy wanna say hi."

"B-Oh! How sweet of her! Tell Katy I missed her, too," Mikan cooed, completely forgetting her agenda of pestering Dave for an answer.

—oOo—

The Next Day

While Mikan was restacking some almost-bare shelves, the entrance door opened, together with the chimes, her attention was captured.

Natsume opened the door and entered the pharmacy.

A slight movement from Mikan had managed to catch his attention. "Mikan…"

Their encounter from yesterday replayed in his mind. His thin, red lips managed to form a playful smile.

"W-what are you doin' here, you perv?"

"Of course, I am here to buy. Duh."

"B-but you already bought a hundred yesterday! A-are you that much of a horn dog? Shoo~ Don't talk to me. Go to the counter yourself, I won't entertain you," she stated, bravely.

"Pftt. How'd you know I'm buying those again? You're really so adorable. I'll be back, wait for me." And he strode his way to the front.

"May I purchase a hundred condoms?"

"Eek! You're really a pervert, Natsume!"

"Natsume?" he asked, turning his body 'round to completely face her, "so, you managed to find me by asking people for my name? And now we're on a first-name basis? How sweet, babe."

"N-no! Don't call me that and hell no! Ugh! Nevermind. Such a pervert," Mikan grumbled, her cheeks tinted in red hue. Her freckled face looked like a strawberry.

"Sorry 'bout her mistakes from yesterday, Natsume-san. Pftt. I'm also sorry that I did not correct her error, she's too fun to tease," Dave interrupted, apologizing while putting on his manly self in full display.

"It's okay. As long as those people from the Home can take ConTam a day, it's okay," Natsume said, loudly emphasizing the word 'ConTam' for Mikan to hear.

'ConTam?' Mikan pondered.

It took her for awhile to react. Her face can resemble the christmas lights. It turned ghastly white to deep red hue then to a light shade of violet and blue before turning ghastly white again.

'I'm such an idiot! Stupid Mikan!' she reprimanded herself.

Natsume and Dave chuckled at her colorful reaction. She was adorably fumny.

"Dave, please pack those condoms for me. I really am buying those. My mates are asking for it."

"Oh. Wait for awhile, Natsume-san." And Dave scurried away.

Natsume approached Mikan who was pretending to redundantly rearrange a certain pile in a shelf. Her face still very brightly colorful.

"Mikan?"

No response.

"Sakura?"

Still no response.

"Oi, idiot."

Complete silence.

Natsume sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not correcting your mistake yesterday. Sorry for playin' along with you, for feigning ignorance. I-I can't help it. You were adorably innocent."

"Hey. Talk to me. What do you want me to do? I wanna start anew with you. I wanna be your friend?"

"… tupid… fun of me… udge you..," she uttered, incoherently.

"W-what?"

Natsume sighed once again. "Please?"

This time, he cornered her in his arms. Mikan's face turned a deeper red.

"… get away, idiot… pervert…"

Natsume chuckled. "I know. I am a pervert. But only to you."

"W-what?! Ugh! S-s-shut up. Can't you see I'm nearly bursting right now?" She covered her face with both hands, completely embarrassed by now.

"Oh, Mikan." He grasped her pale, thin wrists in his own calloused ones. "Care to call my name for me right now? I'd like to hear it from your lips again."

"N-no!"

"Why not?"

"J-just so. And kindly get away before I'll s-shout for help!"

"Mi—"

"*coughs* Natsume-san, here are your purchased items." —Dave.

"…" —Mikan.

"…" —Natsume.

"…" —Dave.

"…" —Everyone who are currently witnessing this.

Before Mikan could sauntered away with the opportunity at hand, Natsume captured her into his arms once again and gave her a deep kiss on her lips, completely surprising everybody except the instigator of the action.

"See you later, babe," with that he left the scene.

"…" —Everybody.

Silence ensued for a few minutes before Dave broke the silence.

"B-btw, Mikan, here's your boyfriend's credit card. Kindly please give this to him personally, he seemed to have forgotten this," Dave said, teasingly.

"H-he's not my boyfriend!" Her face glowing hot red once again. But she was completely ignored.

As nobody paid any attention to her, she glanced at the shiny, black card in her grasp.

'Hyuuga Natsume, huh.'

For moment, on her lips, a smile secretly formed.

'Guess I need to visit the Business Administration building tomorrow.'

—end—

(A/N: Guys~ please don't hesitate to correct my gramatical errors.)

(All Rights Reserved. 2017)

Written: January 23, 2016

Published: April 8, 2017


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